When Zach and I first began attending our church there was something that our senior pastor said that used to catch me off guard.
He would say something like: "Life happens in seasons. Good seasons. Bad seasons. There are seasons of life and seasons of death...if you're in your 20's you don't understand simply because you haven't lived yet."
And I would scoff. "I've lived! More than other people my age. I live miles and miles away from my family and I'm married. A lot of 20 somethings haven't done those two things."
Which is true. But he was right...I hadn't experienced all the seasons yet.
I had experienced childhood and a pretty good one at that.
I was one of few people I knew who's parents were not divorced and I loved that. I always had both parents in the same house growing up. We may have been dysfunctional at times but my brother and I were deeply loved and cared for.
.
And I had experienced adolescence.
I fell in love young. Deeply in love.
I married young.
I had my sweet baby girl young.
I grew up young.
And Ive never regretted those things.
I have been told that I'm naive in a way that I've always seen the good in people...which is good I think. But I never really recognized that no one is perfect (Including myself). Ive always trusted people with abandon and assumed everyone was always doing the nicest thing for, not just themselves, but for everyone.
That gives me a kind of innocence...which is sweet...but also made my entry into my first real hardship a harder fall.
2 weeks before Charlotte was born, crap hit the fan.
While I sat on my bathroom floor bawling, I prayed. First I was spewing anger towards God and then I simply whispered over and over I trust you...I trust you...
I thought to myself...this is one of those hard seasons people talk about.
And then it hit the fan again.
and again
and again
over and over for months.
Its been about two months since the crap finally stopped hitting the fan lol.
and Ive been sitting here staring at the pooh all over the walls.
(you can laugh at that imagery. its ok...comic relief anyone?)
While Ive been sitting here struggling to eat...struggling to sleep...
God has been whispering in my ear and speaking to my heart.
The first thing He told me was this:
You haven't made your life about me. You've made it about you. You've made it about your husband...I need to be the center of your life.
The second thing He told me was:
I will never leave or forsake you. Life is messy...but I'm here. Even until the ends of the earth.
There have been so many things he has said to me:
I am your true, perfect love.
I have a plan and purpose for your life.
You can be victorious in all things you face with Me. I am your strength.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
You are more precious to me than a beautiful jewel.
Just last week He said to me:
"Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1: 7-9
Today He is saying to me:
Get up. Lets clean up this mess. Together. Lets walk through a season of healing...Together.
Keep your focus on Me and we can always get through everything...Together.
So here is what I know.
Through hell or high water my Jesus is my fire blanket and my safety raft.
What have you been through?
What are you going through?
Are you walking through a season of flames?
Or maybe you find yourself like me looking at the aftermath of the flames?
All those things He told me isnt just true for me.
Its for everyone.
Who is your focus?
Mine is Jesus.
